The Hour

I’m sure everyone will identify with the yearning that, as a child, all we wanted was to accelerate life - to be an adult, have relationships, our own home, kids, pets - and a job that earned decent money.The lure of freedom and the endless possibilities seemingly enjoyed by adults appeared exciting and liberating.  

But, now you know that being a grown-up is not always unrestrained and spontaneous; if you could go back in time, would you tell your inner child to simply live in the moment – to focus only on the here and now?  

Our lives take so many twists and turns, it is impossible to know what’s around the corner.The only thing you can control is the intensity of how the baggage of your past affects your future.  

As we grow and develop relationships, we often get hurt - sometimes emotionally, sometimes physically.  Inner strength can be defined as to how you get back up from each incident, how well you brush yourself down and valuable lessons you learn from each experience. Effectively, how you move on to be a stronger, wiser person.

Some people are victims of so much pain that they suffer PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Commonly, those that suffer trauma of this kind are given a prescription for depression, or similar – depending on their doctor’s viewpoint.  

Medical professionals and psychologists do not agree that treating disorders like PTSD is that simple. If we suffer a trauma, our brain struggles to make sense of the situation.  Many people suffer a breakdown if they do not have a good support network of friends and family, which can destroy their lives - their pain growing and festering if they postpone treatment.  

If you identify with this, my advice is to speak to a professional who can help you face up to fears or guilt associated with your past. Trained advisors can help you to compartmentalise your pain, preventing your feelings from restricting your future happiness.

As children, we unconsciously aim to satisfy our parents so that we feel loved and accepted; some adults maintain this attitude throughout their lives.

It’s important to accept yourself, independently of approval from others around you. Enjoy being liked and appreciated by others without relying on their approval or seeing it as essential to your well-being. Appreciating yourself contributes to a healthy self-esteem.

Making peace with our past allows us to enjoy the present all the more, laying stable foundations for a better future. Research has claimed that it can take up to seven generations to break ancestry patterns relating to damaging behaviour.  

The realisation that you’re not held to ransom by your past, and that you can be released from hurtful memories, can be overwhelming. We only have one life; don’t waste precious years punishing yourself for past mistakes or errors of judgement. 

It's time to be the liberated, carefree adult that you always hoped to be. Cut the ties to trauma in your past and embrace your future.  

Louise Wightman of Approach The Coach is a registered coach, and works freelance as a social media consultant / business and life coach.