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When it comes to being assertive, some people avoid confrontation and let others walk all over them. Mentalist Drew McAdam had some handy tips and advice on how to become more assertive without being too aggressive. He told The Hour:
“You get some people who are very compliant and some people who are very confrontational and it tends to come out in a situation where they’re trying to be assertive and don’t know which way to go.
“[If you’re not assertive] people are just going to walk all over you. That’s just the way it is unfortunately. People are aware that they do lie down and just give up, and you don’t have to change that much to become assertive.”
The best way to approach someone is to stand face to face with the person you are talking to rather than looking away. Try to hold eye contact and be friendly with them as well. A smile goes a long way. If you’re standing facing the person straight with your shoulders back you’ll have an air of confidence about you that shows you mean business.
When you are being assertive, it’s important to avoid being too aggressive. Drew said:
“People start punching the air and waving their finger in people’s faces, and that’s just nasty. Only 27 per cent of communication is verbal and the rest uses non verbal cues. That is how we communicate so you have to think of how your body’s communicating in that kind of situation if you want to appear assertive.”
When you approach someone and you’re not happy make it about the other person. Instead of saying ‘I am not happy’ say ‘you wouldn’t want me to leave here not happy’. That approach has you using your body language instead of being confrontational or being too wary.
Drew will be performing his one man show An Evening of Mind Reading on April 1 at the Bathgate Regal Theatre. For more information on Drew see his website.