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Laura BoydThu 03 Nov 2011 13:54
Writing this blog has been tough, if I'm honest, as I feel in a very strange place at the moment.
I am two months into my first three month gap between hospital visits and leukaemia tests and I feel like I am living in a bubble.
I probably sound mad (well, more mad than usual) but it’s very difficult to explain. On one hand, the lack of hospital contact for the first time in two years is a relief. I can go about everyday life without impending blood sucking hanging over me.
On the other hand, I am terrified. What happens if my blood has gone crazy again while the hospital hasn’t been monitoring it and what if the cancer has become more aggressive? It’s a very frightening feeling, the unknown. I return to the Beatson at the start of December and while I am anxious to know what my latest results show, I am terrified that things may have taken a turn for the worse.
For now, I need to focus on the positives and there are a lot of them in my life at the moment. My younger sister got engaged which is fantastic news as she is the happiest I have ever seen her. Congratulations Angela and David! The wedding is going to be in 2013, and although I have this tiny doubt in my mind saying "what if cancer means I don't make it till then", it has given me something to throw myself into and look forward to as I like nothing better than a good old wedding. Just call me bridesmaid-zilla.
I have had a busy few months at work covering X Factor madness - loving the Kelly Rowland / Tulisa drama and hoping Rhythmix do well - as well as a host of stories including Kim Kardashian's shock horror divorce (72 days?!), I’m a Celebrity rumours and the latest on Kate and Pippa Middleton.
The Duchess of Cambridge recently sent a letter to a young leukaemia patient and his father spoke about how receiving the hand written note had made his day. Treats and words of encouragement help brighten up the dark days of living with illness and I think this was a really lovely thing to do.
LIFE GOES ON
I have also been out at a range of events interviewing the stars and one particularly poignant moment came for me when I chatted to singer Jessie J backstage at Clyde 1 Live last month. I admire Jessie as she is such a talented artist with one of the best voices I have heard, plus I love her quirky, yet ultra glam style. She caught my attention a few months back when she Tweeted that she was going to shave her hair off for charity – those lovely locks!
Having contemplated the fact that at some point my hair may have to go if my treatment is changed, it really struck me that someone in the public eye would be willing to chop off their locks to help save the lives of others. Much to my friends' shock, I dropped the "C bomb", as my friends have so kindly dubbed it, to Jessie J to explain why, as a cancer patient, I thought that was a really admirable thing to do. The curse of the cancer-tourettes strikes again! Jessie looked a little shocked but said: “Oh waow. You know what, ever since I was younger I wrote music to make people feel better and now I’ve got the music and the ‘celebritness’, if that’s what you want to call it, and people would love to see a celebrity shave their head and I’m going to do it. I don’t care, even if my hair doesn’t grow back, it doesn’t matter. You know I’ve met children and young people this year who won’t see the end of this year and that puts my life in perspective and it breaks my heart so I want to do all I can to make the world a better place.”
Jessie is be aiming to raise £1 million then she will shave her hair off live on TV and split the money between five charities.
On Saturday night I attended the Scottish Style Awards at Kelvingrove Art Gallery, where I was kindly given a dress and jacket, designed by Judy Clark, to wear. I loved the outfit and must say a big thank you to Judy, who was nominated for Scottish Designer of the Year and in my opinion, should have won. Cancer was a million miles away as I chatted to stars on the red carpet and enjoyed a meal and champagne with a host of Scottish stars.
One thing that is really keeping me going at the moment is Christmas. For those of you who have read the blog before, you will know that I love it. I always have, although now I know how important it is to make the most of every one you get. I have been driving everyone insane with festive cheer (well apart from our favourite STV weatherman Sean Batty who is equally as obsessed with all things Christmas) and I have the Christmas cd already blaring out of my car – yes I know, very sad!
I long for the day I have children of my own to celebrate with but for now, that has to wait till my health improves and my results remain stable. It’s the only thing that makes me feel slightly sad about this period but I’m praying that in time that will come.
It’s also my birthday next week so there’s certainly plenty to celebrate. The next time I write will be just after my hospital visit and I hope I can bring you good news and that Christmas 2011 will be even more special for me and my family, after I get my results.
PS – You may remember I wrote about three year old Ryan from East Kilbride who needs a bone marrow transplant? The good news is, after an incredible recruitment drive by Anthony Nolan, his friends and family, an exact match for Ryan has been found and his is due to have his transplant later this month. I am keeping everything crossed for you Ryan.
You can buy Christmas cards designed by Ryan’s brother and charity wristbands to raise funds for Anthony Nolan from CRUZ hair and beauty Ingram street Glasgow and the Forge, Fresh and Press Calderwood Square East Kilbride, Buds and Blooms, the village EK, and Gino's chip shop High Blantyre.