The Hour

It was bad enough with mobile phones. All that gr8 txt chat was nothing to lol about, was it? But you could see the point – it’s such an effort to keep pressing those fiddly little buttons enough to create the full word.

But now the kids have gone online and things haven’t got any better. Teenagers have a whole language for their internet chat just designed to make sure us “olds” don’t keep up with the latest.

I’m not suggesting you use these terms. Indeed, the effect may be similar to dad dancing or saying things are “cool” and “groovy” when clearly they are “rad” and “wicked”.

However they might come in handy for your computer snooping. In the digital age, sneaking a peep at what your children are doing is nothing like breaking the tiny lock on the diary under the pillow, it’s an issue of safety.

So, when your kids are out, pour yourself a glass of wine and log on.

Top terms you need to know:

• Parent, teacher or other adult watching – MOS (mother over shoulder), PAL (parents are listening),  P911 (parent emergency), PAW (parents are watching), PIR (parent in room) and CD9  (code 9)
• Age, sex, location – ASL
• Male or female - MORF or RUMORF
• I love you – 143, 459 or ILU.
• Let’s meet in person – F2F (face to face), LMIRL (let’s meet in real life), MIRL or RL.
• Cannabis or other drug – 420
• Sending explicit sexual messages by mobile phone – sexting
• Oral sex – 8
• Take your clothes off – GNOC (get naked on camera), GYPO (get your pants off), NIFOC (naked in front of camera).
• Keep parents clueless – KPL

Makes you yearn for the innocent days when “C U L8R” was the worst thing kids could type, doesn’t it?

There’s nothing wrong with teenagers wanting to have conversations with their mates that their parents don’t get to hear and probably wouldn’t approve of. Kids have always done it, only now, on-line it’s different. The relative safety of the back of the bike shed has been replaced by a whole world of predatory danger.

As well as following their net trail (it’s for their own good, you know) there are other measures you can take to help keep them safe.

These include:

• Talking. Discuss with your child what they do online, who they talk to and where they go. Make sure they know they can tell you if anything happens they don’t like.
• Monitor use. Keep an eye on them when they’re on the computer, don’t let them sneak off and use it in private. Check up afterwards.
• Check their friends. If you don’t know everyone, find out who they are.
• Make rules for social networking sites. Tell your kids what they can and can’t post online. Explain how, while they know all their friends, they don’t know who else is watching. Instruct them not give out personal information.
• Consider removing the webcam.
• Watch the school websites. Make sure too much information doesn’t appear on the school site.

I know it seems like common sense, but the world our children are growing up in is moving far faster than we might be comfortable with. Don’t assume they know what the right thing to do online is.

Meantime, maybe we should come up with some acronyms to keep our kids guessing.  How about KOOTW (kids out, open the wine), BTSAFT (back to school, about flipping time) or STTBETSGOT (send them to bed early there’s something good on telly).

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